Foster Family Spotlight: Thomas and Andrea "Courtney" Wilhelm
In March of 2023, Thomas and Courtney began their journey into foster care. After finalizing their licensure in August of 2023, Thomas and Courtney welcomed their first child into their home – a little girl, just shy of 1-and-a-half years old. A short 10 months later, Thomas and Courtney finalized her adoption, providing her with her forever home and family.
At first, led by a desire to grow and complete their young family, Courtney reports that the family chooses to continue fostering as a way to support children and families who find themselves involved with the system. Thomas and Courtney are both passionate and strongly supportive of reunification with a child’s biological family when able and truly put themselves in a place to advocate and support not only the child in their care but the child’s family of origin as well. When discussing their dedication to reunification, Courtney stated,
“We understand that caring for children means caring for the systems and families connected to them.”
Approaching their third full year of licensure, Courtney feels that fostering has truly changed not only her life, but her entire family. She discussed the shift in their motivation for continuing to foster and shared, “What began as opening our home has grown into a deeper purpose – using what we’ve learned to help address pain points within the foster care system itself.” Since becoming licensed, Thomas and Courtney have learned and experienced a great deal having been involved with the Department of Child Services (DCS). Having gone through and seeing children through many difficult situations, Courtney has identified many needs for our system and said, “Much of what I’ve been working on has grown directly out of the challenges foster families face when trying to meet the complex needs of children who have experienced severe neglect or trauma.” Seeing these needs has led Courtney to begin working on an app with the overarching goal of improving the placement matching of children in need to the families willing to care for them. What does she hope to accomplish with this? Courtney stated,
“My hope is that more thoughtful, informed matching can reduce placement disruptions and create greater stability for children and caregivers alike."
This family has truly embraced their calling and enjoys being involved in many facets of foster care. Beyond her technical work with the app, Courtney also serves as a member of the Foster Parent Advisory Board, has been known to participate in workgroups for system improvement, regularly reaches out to other foster parent and caregivers on social media to offer support. The couple also volunteers to mentor other homes who have recently become licensed and those actively walking their own path as licensed foster parents. When discussing their significant involvement in foster care, Courtney said, “My goal in all of this is simply to collaborate, listen and contribute in any way that helps strengthen the system for children and the families who care for them.”
Courtney admits that their fostering journey and experience has proven to be much different than the family originally anticipated. Courtney reported that they originally knew that fostering would be hard on them emotionally, but that they never fully anticipated or understood how certain complexities would ultimately shape her and her family. Courtney said, “I expected it to be hard emotionally, but I didn’t fully grasp how much flexibility, advocacy and emotional endurance would be required, not just from me, but from everyone in our household. I also didn’t anticipate how attached we would become so quickly or how profoundly these children would change us.” Despite the challenges that have arisen during their tenure as foster parents, Thomas and Courtney remain appreciative of the growth, connection and purpose their family has found in fostering.
Despite experiencing many of their own challenges while fostering, Thomas and Courtney remain dedicated to making a difference in the lives of children and families. Courtney shared,
“What keeps me fostering, even when things are hard, is remembering the impact a safe, consistent home can have, even if it’s temporary.”
Courtney also stressed and encourages others to stay the course during difficult times and shared, “Even when you don’t see immediate results, your presence matters. Consistency matters. Love matters.”
Since becoming licensed in August of 2023, the Wilhelm family has welcomed eleven children into their home. Reflecting back on their experience, Courtney shared, “It’s honestly surreal to look back and realize we’ve welcomed at least eleven children into our home in such a short time. Overall, our experience has been deeply meaningful, humbling and transformative for me and for our entire family.”
In closing, Thomas and Courtney have some words of wisdom, insight and encouragement to share with others.
For those just asking themselves, “Is fostering for me?”
“To someone considering becoming a foster parent, I would say: go in with an open heart, but realistic expectations. This isn’t about “saving” children, it’s about supporting them where they are and walking alongside them, sometimes for a very short season.”
What advice would you provide for a brand new foster parent?
“For brand-new foster parents, I’d emphasize the importance of patience, flexibility, and asking for help. You don’t have to do everything perfectly. Learn to advocate early, build relationships with your team and give yourself grace.
What is something you wish people understood better about foster care?
“I wish more people understood that foster care is about healing, not just housing. These children aren’t “difficult” they are responding to trauma. When you shift your perspective everything changes.”
What has been the most rewarding thing for you or your family?
“The most rewarding part has been witnessing growth: a child finally sleeping through the night, learning to trust, smiling more freely, or leaving our home stronger than when they arrived. Knowing we were part of their story, even briefly, is something I’ll always carry with me.”
If you were to describe your journey using one word, what would it be?
“Transformational – is my one word! Foster Care doesn’t just change children, it reshapes families, priorities and purpose. We are not the same people we were when we began.”
