Foster Family Spotlight: Chloe Reneau and Kayla Bary
As Chloe Reneau and Kayla Bary are nearing the end of their second year as licensed foster parents, Chloe shared, “We were motivated to become foster parents because we felt there was space in our hearts and home for children who needed love, support and stability. We knew we had the resources, housing and commitment to provide a safe environment for children in need and it simply felt like the right thing to do.”
Chloe and Kayla have done just that for six children. Their Licensed Child Placing Agency (LCPA), Stepstone, reports that the couple brings more than a high-quality home. Eric, the couple’s licensing worker stated that they bring, “Love, stability, advocacy and a tenacious spirit where foster youth feel loved, accepted and cared for.”
Chloe and Kayla shared that they value the well-being of every child and believe strongly that every child, including the ones currently placed in their home, deserve someone in their corner. This means being able to provide each child a, “Safe place to land, a shoulder to lean on and people who genuinely care about their future.” They believe that one of the most joyous aspects of fostering is experiencing the children in their care work toward their goals and overcome their individual challenges.
Their journey has helped them to understand that every child is unique. While they feel the preparation for licensure was paramount, caring for these children and by extension, their families, have provided them with a better understanding of other cultures, backgrounds and life experiences. They truly value being able to watch and be a part of these children’s lives as they’ve watched them grow, learn, gain confidence and express their own individual personalities.
Though it's still early in their fostering journey, Chloe and Kayla shared that they wish more people understood the importance of permanency and reunification. Chloe and Kayla report they’ve heard others say that they couldn’t possibly be foster parents because they couldn’t handle when a child is returned to their birth families. They want people to understand that the truth is, “The heartbreak is real and it can be incredibly difficult. But fostering isn’t about avoiding attachment – it’s about providing love, stability and support during a critical time in a child’s life.”
Chloe went on to share, “If you’re worried about fostering because you know you’ll fall in love with the children, that’s exactly why you should foster. Children deserve to be loved. They deserve to know what safety, support and belonging feel like. Even if your time together is temporary, the impact of that love can last a lifetime.”
That’s not to say they haven’t faced their fair share of challenges and difficulties, but they report that, “Reflecting on the memories we’ve created and looking forward to making new ones helps us to navigate the heartbreak that can sometimes accompany fostering. The joy and the impact of the journey far outweigh the challenges.”
For other foster parents, Chloe and Kayla’s advice is simple, “Keep an open mind while also advocating for both the children and you.” A family case manager working with Chloe and Kayla enforced this belief of advocacy by sharing, “I appreciate the research they do regarding [the child’s] medical issues, possible solutions and accommodations that can be put in place to assist [the child] to thrive.” Their licensing worker further shared that Chloe and Kayla love the children who have been placed in their home like they were their own and always seek and advocate for the very best outcomes for them.
For anyone exploring the possibility of fostering, Chloe and Kayla believe anyone with the ability and desire to help should consider being licensed. They stress that the need is tremendous, and every child deserves to experience unconditional love and support. Chloe further shared, “Foster Care can be complex, emotional and unpredictable, but it is also one of the most meaningful experiences a person can have.”
To describe their own complex, emotional and unpredictable journey; Chloe and Kayla chose the phrase, “Growth through the struggle.” They believe that this captures not just their own journey as a family, but also the stories of the children they’ve cared for. Chloe and Kayla want people to know they’ve witnessed resilience, healing, courage and transformation in both the children and them, and they hope others understand and remember, that foster care is not always easy, but growth often comes through adversity. Speaking to their own growth through struggle, Chloe added, “Through every challenge, there has been growth, and through every struggle, there has been hope.
What makes you continue to foster even when things are hard?
“For us, the answer is simple: The children. We stay because we love the kids in our care. We are willing to face challenges head-on and remain strong for them when they need us most.”
What is the most rewarding thing about your family’s fostering journey?
“We have loved every child who has been in our care, every child currently in our care and every child who may come into our home in the future. The most rewarding part of this journey has been the relationships we’ve built and the memories we’ve created with each child. Those moments stay with us forever.”
Can you tell us about a particularly rewarding or inspirational moment in your journey that may serve as a reminder as to why you chose to foster?
“There are so many meaningful moments that it’s difficult to choose just one. Looking at our current placements, one of the most rewarding experiences has been watching each child grow in their own unique way.
We’ve had the privilege of seeing our children learn how to communicate more effectively, build confidence and use tools that help them regulate their emotions and navigate challenges. One of our boys participates in physical therapy and watching him overcome obstacles and achieve milestones continues to make us incredibly proud. Our other boy has significant emotional needs and watching him establish healthy boundaries has been inspiring. Our girl came to us with extensive medical needs and watching her grow stronger every day while her personality shines through has been nothing short of amazing.”
Tell us about an experience or moment you’ve experienced that may motivate another foster parent through a difficult time.
“The adjustment period after placement can be challenging for everyone involved. It can be stressful for children as they adapt to a new environment and equally overwhelming for foster parents learning how to best support them. Once children begin to feel safe, open up and show you who they truly are, you witness the incredible progress that comes from patience, love and consistency. Those moments remind us exactly why we chose to foster.”
How do you juggle all of the different roles required of you while also taking care of yourself and your own family?
“We quickly realized how important organization and planning would be. Between work schedules, appointments, visits, therapies and everyday needs, there was a lot to coordinate.
We try to plan as much as possible in advance, often scheduling and organizing an entire month at a time. While every day brings something unexpected, staying organized helps us provide the consistency and stability our children need while also making sure we care for ourselves and our family.”
